Still Here

Yes I am still here. Sorry its been awhile. So much going on here. I don't know where to start.
Well the week we went on vacation in October my mom ended up really sick and in the hospital in Alabama so we cut it short (very short) we only stayed one night in P-town then we headed off to Alabama. We drove down (26 hours pretty much straight through except for 4 hours rest). We stayed there one week until she was well enough to come back with us so we could help take care of her until she fully recovered. She has been sick since she had surgery in July. She just could not bounce back from it. She had one complication after another and the doctors down there just could not seem to find out what the problem was. I brought her here and within one week she was back in intensive care. After 3 weeks in the hospital here and lots of wonderful doctors and nurses she is finally well and is currently in rehab doing physical therapy in order to get strong again to walk unassisted and to be able to do activities of daily living again. It has been a long road but I think she will be fine now.

As far as the pregnancy goes I am now 10 1/2 weeks. The only symptoms I have had so far is a little nausea and feeling very tired (almost to the point of exhaustion at times). We have had one ultrasound at 7 weeks and we got to hear the beautiful heartbeat. And we had one at 9 weeks due to me having some spotting which was very scary but turned out to be nothing. We were released from our fertility clinic at 7 weeks and are now with our Ob/midwife group. I got to stop the progesterone inserts this week because my level was 43. I was happy about that because I feel those made me more moody and tired. I go day to day still in disbelief of the fact that we are finally pregnant and I have a little baby inside me. Each time I get to look at that u/s screen and see it and hear the heartbeat I just amazed and in love. We go for our next u/s Dec 1 and we can't wait.

We came up with a name that we will use to refer to the baby on the blog and actually it is what we use all the time to refer the baby. It is Wynken. The way we came up with this name was when we first went for the u/s to see how many eggs we had for retrieval for the IVF and we found out that we had 3. So we named them Wynken, Blynken, and Nod from the book by Eugene Field. Then we found out that only one survived fertilization so we stuck with Wynken and ever since that is what we have called it. So Wynken it is. J even went out and bought the book for the baby. So cute.

Congratulations to those that have recently gave birth to those beautiful babies. I hope I get time soon to comment.

rising

Fridays Beta Hcg 601. Progesterone 43.15. Numbers rising nicely. Back in on Tuesday for more blood work. We are officially on vacation and are heading down to P-town for a week yay.

Excited

Just got the call from the nurse. Beta #1 is 188. I am happy. Just hoping it all continues to go well. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant I just keep repeating it...it sounds so good to say.

In disbelief

Today I woke up with a feeling of sadness and gloom. I felt as if I would never get pregnant and that all hope was lost. J recognized this and felt sorry for me and in trying to comfort me she went and got a hpt for me to do. Guess what.....it says BFP. I looked at it while she was sitting on the edge of the tub and I calmly said to her it says pregnant and I dont think she quite understood until the second time I said it with a loud and excited voice. She got up and started to hug me and we both just cried tears of joy. We still are in disbelief but here's the proof...

Thanks

Thanks for all the nice comments. It really helps during this tww to know I have people rooting for me and cheering me on. That is one of the reasons I started this blog was for support from people who are going through or have been through the same thing. Its nice to know you guys are out there.
On another note. I am using the endometrium tablets this time for the progesterone. I really like these much better than those suppositories they do not seem to be as messy and much easier to insert since you use an applicator. Just an fyi for anyone who is going through this.
In the mean time we are just keeping busy with work and other things to pass the time.

transfer

They called late yesterday afternoon to say that I have 2 embryos out of the 3 eggs they retrieved on Sunday. The RE wanted to do the transfer today. Which would make it a 2 day transfer instead of the 3 day as planned. So we arrived today at 12 noon for the transfer. We soon found out from the doctor that we have only one embryo out of the 2 that made it to transfer. The one that made it is of good quality. It has 4 cells which is the usual number for day two and has no fragments. The ultrasound tech gave us a copy of the picture to take with us. I really have mixed emotions about the whole thing but I am trying to remain positive. Everything is out of our hands now so all we can do is wait the long two week wait. In the mean time I am going to try to stay busy. We will find out our results a few days before we are due to leave for our week long vacation/honeymoon in P-town so hopefully we will get good news. If not we will definitely need some time away to re-group and support one another. Keeping our fingers crossed and trying to stay positive.

retrieval

Yesterday was our retrieval. I am anxious because we had 3 follicles that were 19, 20, and 21 and out of those we got 3 eggs. I am disappointed we did not get more but I have to settle with what we got. Now I am waiting to find out if they fertilize and if so what will be the quality. I will return on Wednesday if all goes well for the transfer.
Everything went well yesterday as far as the procedure went. I was nervous due to the fact that I have never had anesthesia before. J was my rock and she supported me through it all. Man I have to tell you though that is some good sleep. All I remember is walking into the OR and lying down on the bed with the stirrups and putting my legs up and the nurse telling me that the anesthesiologist was putting some medications in my IV now and that she was going to put a blood pressure cuff on my arm and the next thing I know I am in recovery with J by my side. It all went so fast. The rest of the day was spent sleeping and lying around doing nothing but hydrating myself.

coming along

Just got back from my lab and u/s. Today is cd11 and I have 3 follicles that are progressing well. I have 2 on the left that are 16 and 15.6 and 1 one the right that is 15. I really hoped for more but will settle for these. I am currently taking 300iu's of gonal f and menopur. If all goes well I am looking at the weekend for retrieval. Please keep your fingers crossed that it all goes well. I am really excited but very nervous.

areobatics

Yesterday J, her mom, and I went to Portsmouth to the air show. It was a hot but beautiful day. The highlight of the show was the B.lue A.ngels they were spectacular. I saw them years ago when I used to live in Alabama. They do a show each year on Pensacola beach. We had a great time.

This Friday I start my suppression cycle with climara patch and ganirelix injections. Just hoping this cycle goes well.

Nantucket Getaway Weekend

We had a wonderful time visiting Nantucket this past weekend. The trip was short but so refreshing. We love the island. It has lots of fond memories for us both because it is where I lived when we first met and we were dating. J lived on the mainland in Hyannis so every weekend she would come to visit me on Nantucket. Dating with that much water in between was difficult to say the least but we made it work. On the weekends she could not come over I would go to Hyannis to see her. This is the island where our relationship grew and we fell in love. So for us to return there after four years was very special. We visited all of our favorite spots. Here are some pictures J and I at Siasconset Beach on a cool Sunday morning



On the ferry leaving the island

Nantucket Basket Smart Car

We attended the annual sand sculpture Contest

This one was titled Ackatar. ACK is the island nick -name after the call letters for the airport on Nantucket.

Money, Money, Money...wish I owned one of these.

Sankaty lighthouse

Miacomet pond one of my favorite places on the island

Early morning stroll in Siasconset known by locals as S'conset

try, try, again

Let another cycle begin. Wish me luck. We are gonna try gonal f and menopur this time along with ganirelix. Hopefully it works. Bring on the meds.
We are heading to Nantucket this weekend to visit friends and to just hang out and relax at our favorite spots. This is where I lived when J and I first met. We have not been back there in a few years so we really are looking forward to it.

anniversary

This month is the one year anniversary of the death of our wonderful dog Tollee and and a wonderful man (J's dad Liam). We miss you both very much.

Spiraling

I feel sometimes things are spiraling out of control. Being the type of person who likes things neat, tidy and somewhat in control this really bothers me. After our wedding (one of the happiest days of my entire life) things started to spin. First J hurt her back and was barely able to walk for a week. Then Max our dog ate a pain patch of my moms and ended up at the emergency vet and at the point of being unresponsive. Thank god they put him to sleep and pumped his stomach and saved his life. My father ended up in the hospital while still here visiting after the wedding with chest pain and was discharged in a couple of days with a good report...not any artery blockages but they dont know why he had the chest pain. He had triple bypass in 2004. This was all a relief for us. My parents finally were able to fly back home 2 days after the original date they were suppose to fly. Everything finally seemed to be getting back to normal around here and J and I finally found some time to just hang out with one another and enjoy one another without everyone around. I started the injectable meds preparing for IVF only to have a cancelled cycle due to premature ovulation, a large cyst and my numbers being up ( I knew something was wrong when Dr G called me himself that afternoon after I had the ultrasound and lab work to tell me the news.) I cried a lot more than I have the whole time we have been ttc I just seemed to lose hope at that time and when hope is gone what is is left. J has been very supportive through all of this she's my rock. Then a few weeks later I get a call from my dad saying my mom was really sick and that I needed to come home because she had to be intubated and was on a ventilator due to severe pneumonia. Now this is the last thing I ever expected to happen because my mom usually does not get this sick because she recognizes symptoms early on and goes to the doctor so I was shocked it was her in the hospital. I took an emergency flight to Alabama after just getting off a 12 hour overnight shift only to have the flights from hell that day. It took me another 8 hours to get to Florida close to where my parents live and another 2 1/2 to get to the hospital where she had been transferred to. It is an awful feeling when you are so helpless and not knowing whether or not you will ever get to see her alive again and to tell her that you love her. Nothing can get you there fast enough. This is the one reason I do hate living so far away from my family. When I arrived she had gotten so much better. She was in ICU and already had gotten off the ventilator because she was doing so well and had begged the doctor to take the tube out. She although still really sick looked wonderful to me. I was so relieved and happy to see that she was talking and smiling when I walked into the room. I was in Alabama for five days helping to take care of her and was able to bring her home after she was discharged. I took a flight out the next day (Wednesday) as I was due back for a 16 hour shift on Thursday. Again I had the flight from hell being delayed this time for 4 hours at one airport and on the second leg of my flight to Boston we got re-routed 200 miles out of our way due to weather and control center back up. Fun,Fun, Fun. J picked me up with the 2 fur babies in tow and we managed to get home at 12:45 am and we were both due to wake up at 5:15 am to get to work. Yeah it was great. But none the less was I ever happy to see all the loves of my life in the one car that night at the airport....one smiling from ear to ear and the other two waging their tails and jumping up and down. This always brings me peace. Now I would love to tell you that things only started to look up for us and to get better but I regret to say no. This past weekend was filled with much needed togetherness. Only it was tainted by the news that mom had to have abdominal surgery due to a bowel obstruction on Sunday morning. She today remains in the hospital recuperating but has had a set back because of confusion due to hopefully all the morphine she was receiving for pain. Now here I sit today on my day off filled with emotions. Emotions of worry and I start to feel anxious. I feel I need to be in Alabama and at the same time I feel I need to be here where all my security is. I need J to be home from work soon for the comfort she gives me. I just want things to stop spiraling and to slow down long enough for me to catch my breath, long enough for me to exhale. Thats what I am longing for.

wedding pictures

Here are a few of the wedding photos. Sorry it took so long to get them posted. There has been a lot going on here lately...good and bad. I will have to find time to post it all later. Hope everyone is well and enjoying their summer.

Sad

Numbers up, large cyst....cycle cancelled. I am sad.

Whats Happening

Wow I feel like it has been ages since I posted. So much has happened in my life since then. I am going to talk about it all then I will do another post with pictures from the wedding.

We are well on our way to IVF. We officially got the approval of the insurance company to do IVF and I just completed the cycle of birth control pills and had my u/s and lab work this am. I am waiting for a call from the nurse to let me know what to do next. Hopefully I will start injections if all is clear. We are so excited that it is all coming together now.

In other news. We had our wedding ceremony on Saturday June 19 at our home in our backyard. It was a hot day but a beautiful sunny day. That was 0ur worst fear that it would rain and everything would have to be done indoors. We had approx 40 friends and family here to share our special day with. Everything went off without a hitch, well a few minor ones that thanks to our friends worked out in the end. I really have to say that day was the happiest day of my life. It was just beautiful. Our JP was so wonderful and fulfilled all of our expectations in our ceremony. Our vows were filled with words that not only state who we are to one another but who we our fully committed to be always to one another. It is making me cry as I am writing this. Our dear friends Beth and Chrissie stood in attendance with us and they both did beautiful readings for us. Looking out to all of our family and friends in attendance made me think how lucky we are to be able to share that with them and for each of their support and love that they all show us. My mom and dad, J's mom, and brother were all in attendance and showed so much support for us. It was truly magical. After the ceremony we had the reception in our backyard under tents with lots of good food, drink, and a lovely mix of 6 hours of music on the ipod which J took lots of time and energy to compose for us. Everyone had a great time. We received lots of beautiful, generous gifts and cards. For our guest registry we decided to have our guest write messages on various rocks that J and I have collected over the years on various trips to places such as P-town, Maine, Nantucket, and Gloucester, and of course NH beaches. We put them all in a bowl for a keepsake to treasure always. I am going to put together a wedding scrapbook soon of all the photos and memories we have.
So here a the couple of hitches that happened right before the ceremony that I mentioned above. Although at the time I thought oh no this is a disaster and everything is ruined but luckily it was not as bad as it looked and it all worked out fine thanks to our friends that arrived early to help us put last minute things together. I will forever be appreciative to them. First of all, at around 12:30 pm J and I were both sent upstairs to our bedroom with 2 glasses of wine to start getting ready and to relax for a little while before the ceremony. J had just completed getting ready and had walked downstairs for a moment and I had just gotten out of the shower when I hear J scream the tents are flipping over. I look out the window of the upstairs bedroom to see the four tents toppled over and all twisted and tangled amongst one another. Our friends come running and start to untangle them and to see if they are bent or harmed in anyway. Thank goodness they were not. They set them back up and this time staked them all down as it was very windy which we did not see coming at all. The tables which were already decorated with tablecloths and centerpieces remained untouched. The second thing that happened was J's mom arrived from Newburyport with our cupcakes and small cake topper when we discovered that they forgot to send the display stand which we rented from them. So after J got on the phone and yelled and screamed until the lady said she would have someone meet us half way and give it to us. Halfway is 20 minutes for us so our friend Ronnie said she would go and retrieve it.
Aside from these minor glitches all was good. And now I get to spend many, many happy days with my wife.
Now the first week of our married life was not so good. To say the least it was very challenging. Here are the series of events that took place:
1) J injured her back and was not able to work for a week.
2) Max our dog was rushed to the emergency vet where we soon found that he had overdosed on my moms old discarded morphine patch which he had gotten and eaten. After many hours there and 1000.00 later he came home the next day only to discover that the technician had shaved his bum and under his tail (due to feces) way too close and he ended up with what looked like a 3rd degree burn to that area. Needless to say he was one miserable baby for at least a week. It is almost healed after steroids and antibiotics.
3) My father ended up in the hospital with chest pain the day before they were scheduled to fly back to Alabama. Thank goodness his stress test was normal and they were able to fly back 2 days later than scheduled. He is home now and scheduled to his cardiologist tomorrow in Alabama.
So as you can see it has been challenging to say the least at our home.
Things are looking up though. We had a wonderful holiday spent at the beach the last couple of days we wonderful friends.
We are taking a small vacation/honeymoon in October to P-town which has already been booked. Hopefully by then though it will be shared with not just J and I but a little third party in my belly.

two week wait

Well it is less than two weeks now until our wedding day. We have pretty much completed everything to prepare for it. Now we must cross our fingers it does not rain. Next week my parents arrive and we have to finish up on last minute preparations but pretty much we are ready. Nervous but ready. I am so excited to be marrying the love of my life. I have known from the beginning that I would spend my life with her.
In other news I am waiting for cycle day 1 to start birth control pills so that we can get started with the IVF. Really excited about this also.

Ecstatic

I am so ecstatic. I just got the results fsh 6.1 estrogen 581....Textbook as the nurse described it. Finally something went in our favor. Consult with our doctor next Tuesday to get final consents signed and insurance approval then we officially start IVF. So excited.

anxiously waiting

I had my blood drawn this morning for my estrogen and fsh level after completing the clomid last night. I am happy I am done with the clomid but I am anxiously waiting for the results this afternoon to see where my numbers are. I am excited to get this behind me but very nervous about the results. Fingers crossed for good numbers.

test, test and more test

Well I started the clomid challenge test last night. My estrogen level is finally back down. I finish the med on Sunday night and get labs on Monday. I am just crossing my fingers that the fsh and estrogen levels stay down. I am so worried. I am so close to starting IVF and have my heart set on it and if this fails I am going to be a mess.

weekend fun

This weekend we were able to accomplish some task that we had been wanting to get done. It was a much needed weekend of togetherness although it was spent hanging a new light fixture and doing yard work. J and I find that most of the time we make a good team in accomplishing task and working together. She is usually the one that really has the know how especially when it comes to indoor projects and I am usually her assistant...but it works. She learned most of her handyman tricks from helping her dad all through the years and now that he is no longer with us she is very thankful that she listened and learned from him. As far as outdoor projects went we only had Sunday to get this accomplished because it rained all day on Saturday. We were able to mow the lawn, do some pruning of the shrubs, and to clean out from around our pergola to get ready to plant some flowers and shrubs for the upcoming wedding since the ceremony will take place under the pergola.

On a different note I hope everyone had a wonderful mothers day. I will leave you with some pictures of our weekend projects.

wedding plans

We have officially set a date for our wedding. It will be June 19 at our home in our backyard. We are very excited. Ever since returning from vacation we have been planning for it. We have officially booked our JP which has already written our ceremony for us to view and critique, picked out and purchased our rings, ordered chairs, bought tables, and started to purchase items to decorate our pergola with so it will be beautiful for us to be wed under. We of course have also did our invites and have gotten a good return on our RSVP's around 40 people so far and we have set up our registry, and purchased clothing to wear...wow I am tired just from typing it all. Next week we have to purchase our license and start making our table centerpiece's for which we have purchased glass vases and will use sea shells, candles and sand. Oh and we have already booked our catering. We have many more things to do but it is all shaping up nicely.

starting again

Well we have officially started our ttc process again. I have to say it feels good to be starting again. We went last Wed for all of our blood work to start the IVF process...yes when I say we I mean J too. She had to have the standard test too ( HIV, Hepatitis etc) it is required by our Ivf clinic, whatever we humored them. Anyway they drew 12 vials of blood from me my god I don't think I have ever given that much blood. They also did another u/s just to check things out again. On Friday the clinic called to say that my estrogen level was too high (99) to start the clomid challenge test and they prescribed me provera to take for 7 days so that we could induce another menstrual cycle and hopefully my level would be down in order to start the CCT again to submit to the insurance company.
Today I went for a sonohysterogram. What fun that was. First of all she could not view my cervix well with the huge speculum she had so she kept moving it all around then she removed it and tried a smaller one then the first one again then the smaller and finally she found my cervix then she put the catheter in and inflated the balloon which induced major cramping and the were finally able to see my uterus but not well so the u/s tech told the NP to pull the catheter back a little so she could get a better view but she accidentally pulled it all the way out and we had to start the process over again from the beginning. Talk about cramping I had it big time but in the end they got really good views and everything was clear.
Tonight is my last night of taking the provera thank god because I have had hot flashes and mood swings like crazy. It has also affected my sleep..I feel very restless at night.
I just keep telling myself all this will be worth it one day when I have a precious baby in my arms. But the things we go through to get there.

vacation

Carriage ride Charleston, SC

Hard Rock Myrtle Beach

J on beach with lots of driftwood

A water fountain for all including our furry friends on the boardwalk Myrtle Beach

It's five o'clock somewhere

Mom and dad at Brookgreen Gardens
Beautiful gardens

Were back from a much needed vacation. We had a wonderful time. It was nice to get out and enjoy sunshine and fresh air. We spent 6 days in Myrtle Beach, SC. We arrived in Alabama on Saturday evening and spent the night at my parents house and headed out early Sunday morning for the 10 hour trip to Myrtle Beach with my mother and father in tow.

We stayed at our time share which turned out to be a very nice place. It was a large 2 bedroom complete with large kitchen, living room, screened porch, and the master suite which of course was ours had a large jetted tub and king bed.

We visited several gardens and plantations, took a riverboat tour, played put put golf, went to the beach, and went to Charleston, SC for a day trip.

Overall it was a nice vacation.

catching up

Well I finally found time to sit down and write a post to catch up on whats happening here. Its been kinda crazy here the last couple of weeks. Things are finally starting to return to normal around here.

First of all we had a bad storm here Thursday nite Feb 25. The winds were horrible and toppled lots of trees in our neighborhood causing us to lose power. Also we had some flooding in our town due to all the rain and snow. When we awoke on Friday morning it looked like a tornado had hit. We were fortunate that we did not have any damage to our house but some neighbors were not as lucky. Our only misfortune was that when we went to hook up our generator it would not work. Now here's the thing, last year with the huge ice storm we had here we were without power for 7 days and it was freezing cold temps outside and my family was visiting from Alabama at the time. We have a gas fire log heater in our family room so we were able to keep warm as long as we all stayed in there with the door shut but otherwise it was cold. So to say the least that was not fun with all of us trying to camp out in there in order to stay warm. At the time of all of this there were no generators within 300 miles of us to be had. So shortly after that storm we purchased a generator. We had our electrician come to hook it all up to the gen tran system that was already in place here and we thought we were all set. Until....Friday morning after the bad storm. We went to hook it up because from the looks of the damage in our area we were going to be out of power for awhile and when we turned it on it did not work. The generator itself ran but the power kept going off and on in the house. So we placed a call to our electrician who had helped us get it hooked up before and told him what was happening he stated that he would be coming to check it out shortly but it sounded like it was a bad generator. Well after hanging up I started to panic and get very angry because as always our one year warranty on it had ran out in Jan. Talk about pissed off... that I was. Well thankfully he arrived about 1 1/2 hours later and found the problem to be a short in the gen tran box and fixed it quickly and had us up and running. Got my blood pressure up for no reason. This baby became a life saver for us all since we were without power for 6 days. Our friends that live in the area came to stay with us for couple of nights with there dog and another friend of ours were out of town on a ski trip and had left their dog with some people who also lost power and had to go to a hotel so we ended taking in there dog as well (she's a sweetheart and no trouble at all).

Here are some pics from the storm:
This past week our good friend lost her mother to cancer. She had been battling cancer of the lung and brain for a little over a year now. She was a sweetheart. Such a kind, caring, loving person. She helped so many people and touched so many lives. I have fond memories of her stopping by our house when she would be out for one of her morning drives we her sister that she took care of for a long time that had Alzheimer's disease. She would be driving by our house and would see me outside with the dogs and stop by to say hello. Sophie our dog just loved it and would always jump into the car right onto her sisters lap and start to give her kisses which she always loved. We attended her wake and memorial services this past weekend. Goodbye Betsy you will be missed.

Hopefully I will be starting Ivf in May if all works out as far as insurance goes. The weight loss has gone well a total of 32 pounds since Dec 22. I am very proud of myself for this accomplishment and with the healthier diet and proper nutrition I am feeling much better. I will continue it and hopefully lose lots more weight before May. I really want to to be healthy for the pregnancy.

We are going on a much needed vacation soon. Warmer weather and some relaxation time is well needed right now. Can't wait.

random thoughts

I finally got a day off today after working 6 days in a row. We had our annual training classes last week and I was off my schedule all week due to this. Getting up at 5:15 am every morning is hard when you have worked evening for so many years. It has totally threw my body off schedule. So today I am happy to be off and enjoy my day at home to clean, rest, and to catch up with blogging.

I see that the DC area got blasted with snow this weekend...wow 3 feet. Thats insane esp for that area. I cant believe we have not had much snow here. I think we are suppose to get a storm on Wed.

In other news, I was talking to my friend A last week and he was pretty upset. For the past few years he has been living in the USA from Denmark on a student visa. While here he met G and they became a couple and have been together now 7 years. Well the delimea with this is that A and G are a gay couple and since the federal gov does not recognize gay marriage then A has no rights to be able to stay here in this country once his student visa expires. Now A's whole plan, as instructed by a imigration lawyer was to get a degree in healthcare so that when he finished he would be able to remain here on a work visa since healthcare has a shortage and most likely would be able to employ him in that area. Well A completed a degree as a xray technologist a year ago and was told that he would not be able to get employment in that area since the economy had turned bad and the fact that the xray tech field had become saturated since he had completed his degree. So he went back to talk to the imigration lawyer and some large hospitals in the Boston area to find out what his options are now and what would be best for him. They told him his best option would be nursing...so he started school to get a BSN degree. Well he is in his 2nd year of the 3 year program and he talked to the imigration lawyer the other day and he said his hopes for him to get a job in nursing is slim due to the economy and the fact that no one is hiring right now and when they start hiring again there will not be a need in the country for imigrants to come work since there will not be a shortage of nurses here. He advised him to start looking at other options from him and G so that they can remain together but not here in the USA. So he basically has to start looking to leave here and for them to go live in Canada or back to Denmark. It makes him very upset at the fact that he has to leave a country that he has made a home in and loves because he is gay and that is what it all comes down to. I am sad for him and G because I see how much they love one another and how they have made a life and home together here and the fact that it is not fair. We can only hope that in the year or two that he has left here that things change and DOMA is overturned so that he can possibly stay. Its been a long road of fighting for our rights as gay people and things are starting to turn around but we still have a long way to go. Obama did speak about these issues briefly in his state of the union address so we can only hope that some things change while he is in office.

Congrats to Teaberry and her partner Julie on the birth of their new son Lucas. He is a cutie.

I feel like I am really starting to get the winter blues. I need to re-focus and to start some new projects to keep me busy this winter. We have been planning to get out more and do some snowshoeing on the trails around here but is has been really cold on the days that we were available to go. I want to start some new scrapbooking projects and to get most of cd's downloaded onto my ipod. Keeping busy is the best way for me to fight off the winter blues.

We have a vacation planned in April to get away to some warm weather. We will be heading down to AL to meet up with my parents, then we will all be heading to Myrtle Beach, SC to stay for a week. Can't wait for this. It should break up the winter a little bit since April can still be very unpredictable here in NH.

This weekend J's mom is coming up to visit. We plan to celebrate her birthday Sat by taking her to dinner and a movie. Sunday we hope to do some snowshoeing and to enjoy the day together since it is valentines.

Bring back the excitement and giddiness

Remember that feeling you got when you first started the ttc process. You felt so excited and giddy. The first Iui we went in for we were on top of the world. We felt as if our tww would last forever and that we would see a BFP soon. I remember that same day we went to B&N bookstore I was already looking at baby and pregnancy books and even wanted to purchase a couple. J was also very optimistic but she did convince me to wait on the purchase. We were just so hopeful at that time. Of course our bubble was burst after the first BFN and the second and third and so on. We so want to start our family soon and be given that ultimate gift. I am looking forward to getting started with IVF soon and hopefully regaining the hope, optimism, and excitement that our first IUI brought us.

Ted Kennedy must be turning over

What an up set in MA. Brown over Coakley. Ted Kennedy must be turning over in his grave. A seat that has had Democratic reign for half a century.....shameful.

Anniversary weekend

This past weekend we celebrated our 6th anniversary. Sat morning we headed up north to Bethelem, Nh. We stayed at one of our favorite places (Highland Inn). We just love this place. They make you feel so at home and welcome there. It was a much needed time of relaxation and fresh air. We did some snow shoeing on the trails on both Sat and Sun, had a nice dinner at a Thai restaurant, watched a movie and just enjoyed one another's companionship. I just love spending time with this woman even after 6 years it just seems to get better each year.
Sunday nite we headed over to our friends Laura and Joy to watch the game (Joy is a jets fan) and to play wii. Can I just say we fell in love with the Wii resort it was such fun. We have gotta get.
On another note, today completes one month of my weight loss plan...23 lbs down. I am so excited. I really feel good and have so much more energy.

New Year

Wow its been a long time since I posted. Hopefully I will not be gone for so long in the future. I have had a post in my head for the new year for awhile now but just haven't found the time to sit and actually do it. By the way Happy New Year everyone. And congratulations to Gayby Rabies on their pregnancy of twins what a way to start out a new year.
Well 2009 was filled with mixed emotions for us and we are really happy to be starting a new year.

Here is our year in review highlighting the major moments for us:

January: -We began ttc with our first Iui which resulted in a bfn.

-We hosted our annual holiday party....good times were shared with friends.

April: - Vacation to AL and TN to visit P's family rented cabin and visited Fort Payne and Chattanooga.

May:- Ttc: Started injectables another failed Iui.

June:- Camping trip to Salisbury beach.


July:- Camping trip to Provincetown for 4th of July.

-Tollee, our beloved dog passed away unexpectedly at the age of 12.

-J's father passed away 1 1/2 weeks later after a battle with liver disease.
-We celebrated J's 37th Birthday

August: - We hosted our annual summer party it was one of the hottest days of summer but everyone had a blast-We welcomed our new dog Max which we rescued into our home.October: -We vacationed in Ontario, Canada with J's mom:

November: -P's Family visited from AL for Thanksgiving. We celebrated Thanksgiving at our house with J's family, P's family, and friends.

December: - Celebrated P's 40th birthday with surprise party thrown by J.

-Had our first consultation with RE to start IVF.-Celebrated Christmas Eve with friends.

-Celebrated Christmas day with friends and J's family.

So as you can see our year was filled with lots of mixed emotions. Here's to 2010 may it be filled with happiness and many fond memories.